For some individuals, intelligence is the most crucial trait they find desirable in a partner. Research shows that about 8% of young adults in the US bond with others based on their brain power. This is the major reason such individuals are attracted. and they are known as sapiosexuals. This can make their relationship and love life complicated. If this is you, you will find this article valuable regarding the complexities surrounding sapiosexuality.
What is Sapiosexuality?
Sapiosexuality refers to sexual attraction based on intelligence. Naturally, many people consider intelligent people attractive but it is different for sapiosexuals. For regular people, they love intelligent people because of the by-products, such as fame and wealth. However, for sapiosexuals, intelligence, by itself, is the reason for the attraction.
Regular people can find a wealthy but unintelligent person attractive. They can also find a handsome or beautiful person attractive despite their low IQ. However, for sapiosexuals, intelligence is non-negotiable. If the person has a low IQ, every other trait will not matter. This strange obsession with intelligence can become both a blessing and a curse for sapiosexuals.
Unlike in previous years, sapiosexuality has gained more prominence in recent times. Sapiosexuality is not an exclusive form of sexual orientation. This trait can be found in heterosexuals, bisexuals, homosexuals, and other forms of sexuality. Its intersection with other sexualities makes it complex, making sapiosexuals need the help of experts for clarity sometimes.
History and Origins of Sapiosexuality
Historically, the first use of the word “sapiosexuality” is credited to Darren Stalder, an American engineer and blogger. The Seattle-based engineer used the word in 1998 to describe his attraction to people with sharp, curious minds. Since then, it has been used to describe individuals who prioritize intelligence in potential partners.
Sapiosexuality as a term is recent, but the idea of attraction based on intelligence is ancient. Humans have always seen intelligence as one of the attractive qualities of a potential partner. However, what has made sapiosexuality special is prioritizing intelligence and arousal based on intelligence.
Traits of Sapiosexual Individuals
Are you a sapiosexual, or do you simply appreciate intelligent people? Sapiosexuals have distinguishing traits. Here they are:
Intellect for Sexual Arousal
Sapiosexuals find people engaging in intellectually stimulating activities sexually attractive. If you get aroused when a person is solving a complex riddle or delivering a lecture, you are a sapiosexual. This has gone beyond an appreciation of intelligence.
Choice of Dating Spot
Regular people prefer dates at restaurants and on beaches. For sapiosexuals, the ideal spot is a library, bookstore, or museum. They are in paradise when they find a person who can explain historical accounts.
Lovers of Critics
Unlike regular people, sapiosexuals love differing opinions. They want their partners to critique their opinions and viewpoints. It attracts them when their partners provide a logical and insightful criticism of their strategies.
Intelligence or Nothing
Sapiosexuals will never settle for less – their partner must have intelligence or nothing. Regardless of other qualities, a sapiosexual will insist on intelligence. They cannot enjoy a romantic relationship regardless of the other qualities their partner possesses.
Psychological Basis of Sapiosexual Attraction
The origin of sapiosexuality is rooted in evolutionary psychology. Evolutionary psychology explores human behavior through the lens of evolutionary biology. Sapiosexuality is recognized as a survival skill developed by human ancestors. In other words, females must have found males who can solve problems and identify poisonous plants as attractive. While mating with such individuals, this good gene has been passed on and retained among humans.
The thought process of sapiosexuals is a fixation on intelligence above physical attributes. This attachment is close to an obsession, but it is healthy, which is the reason it is not classified as a mental disorder. As a sapiosexual, you care little about the physique or shape of a potential partner. You are more eager to hear the person discuss and analyze situations before you can get turned on.
You want to know the person’s ideology about life, values, interests, and morals before committing your emotions. This makes it challenging to quickly be on the same wavelength with a potential partner. However, sapiosexuals are ready to wait until they find the right person.
Sapiosexuality in Culture and Media
In 2014, OKCupid, a dating site, added sapiosexuality as an option for profiles. This further increased the popularity of this word in mainstream media. In culture and media, many celebrities have declared themselves sapiosexuals. Mark Ronson, Marilyn Monroe, Marco Antonio Regil, and Mercedes Acosta are some of the most famous examples.
Mark Ronson, the Oscar and Grammy-winning music producer, declared himself a sapiosexual on Good Morning Britain. Nonetheless, he later clarified the statement to show that he was not claiming he was marginalized. Instead, he was simply talking about how he finds intelligent people attractive.
Actress Marilyn Monroe’s declaration was more dramatic. According to her, she finds Albert Einstein attractive because of his intelligence. She further declared that she wished to have a son with the famous scientist. According to her, she wants the child to have her physique and the intelligence of Einstein.
Impact on Relationship Dynamics
Sapiosexuality has several implications for relationship dynamics. Below are some of the impacts of intellectual allure on romantic relationships:
Slow Starts
Sapiosexuals typically find it challenging to start new romantic relationships. They take their time, especially if they have not seen evidence of intelligence in the person. This can frustrate the other person, especially when they find you attractive already.
Arousal Mechanism
A partner might find a sapiosexual frustrating to turn on. Unless you get them engaged in deep smart conversations, they might not be interested in sex. This can create problems in a relationship when the partners have not discovered themselves.
Sustainability Concerns
A sapiosexual might start a relationship with an incompatible partner to avoid waiting extensively. However, they might quit the relationship later, which can become a pattern. It can be the reason a person has a habit of starting and quitting relationships. In worse scenarios, they might be cheating with another person they find more cognitively appealing than their current partner.
Pressure on Partner
The partner of a sapiosexual will be under pressure to match their intelligence level. It takes an intentional partner to create intellectual chemistry with a sapiosexual, which can be problematic for some people.
Addressing Sapiosexuality Misconceptions
One of the greatest misconceptions around sapiosexuality is that it is elitist. In other words, it is believed that sapiosexuals have no value for individuals with low IQ. However, this is far from the truth. Sapiosexuals do not lack respect for people with lower IQs. Rather, it is a personal basis for sexual attraction for them.
Another misconception is the belief that sapiosexuality glorifies the European academic system-based intelligence above other forms of intelligence. This criticism is also not based on facts. Sapiosexuals do not jettison other forms of intelligence. For example, they appreciate emotional intelligence. Yet, for their arousal and sexual pleasure, they place priority on a higher IQ.
Nurture Connections with Clear Mind Treatment
Sapiosexuality is not a mental disorder or a disadvantage. If you are struggling to have satisfying and fulfilling romantic relationships as a sapiosexual, you need to take deliberate actions. First, you need to ascertain your sexuality. If you are not sure how to go about this, Clear Mind Treatment is your trusted ally.
With a team of experienced professionals, Clear Mind Treatment is a safe space for people of all sexualities. Regardless of your sexual orientation, our team of experts will offer you professional services that help you discover yourself. We will help you discover the reasons your relationships have been unsatisfactory.
Most importantly, we have the skills and therapeutic solutions to help you find a new lease of life. Contact us today for an engaging, positive, and transformative session that will turn your love life around.
FAQs
What is sapiosexuality and how does it relate to intellectual attraction?
Sapiosexuality is the sexual arousal of an individual based on the level of intelligence of a partner or potential partner. It is related to intellectual attraction, which focuses on the ability of an individual to be logical and coherent. However, it is different because sapiosexuality involves arousal, unlike intellectual attraction.
How does intelligence play a role in creating a strong mental connection?
When a person prioritizes intelligence, it becomes their basis for forming strong mental connections with others. This is more evident in sapiosexuals.
What are some signs of intellectual chemistry in a relationship?
One of the signs of intellectual chemistry is deep conversations with a partner. Accepting contrary opinions and mutual respect are also signs of intellectual chemistry.
How does cerebral allure differ from physical attraction?
Cerebral allure bases arousal on intellectual capacity. Meanwhile, physical attraction bases arousal on the physique and shape of the other person.
Why do smart conversations contribute to cognitive appeal in relationships?
Smart conversations demonstrate the ability to solve problems, which is cognitively appealing. For sapiosexuals, it produces mental connection and sexual desires in them.
